Eyebrows for Days

  Yes, I know, massive blog neglect has occurred.  Don't try to make me feel bad about it, or I'll throw out some excuses about the holidays, and how it's tough to keep a nice mani when you're doing a lot of painting and gluing.  My nails have been as neglected as my blog, sadly...there hasn't been any truly spectacular artsy shit in a while, so let us allow the blog to transition to a more all-encompassing cosmetic theme.  Nails will always be my fave, but let's be honest - I love makeup.  Just fucking love the stuff.  And ever since I decided to start spending a mint on each stick of eyeliner I buy, I'm even more into it.  I hate to say this, but more expensive makeup is just better (to an extent.  Some brands are outrageously priced, and on certain products it's better to comparison shop, natch.)

  ANYHOO my current cosmetic obsession is colored eyebrows.  It's so cheeky and unexpected, and I do so love to make a statement!  I also think it can be quite chic if done right, if I do say so myself.
  I have gigantic, formidable eyebrows, which I do not want to shave off, so I end up using quite a bit of product to get the colors I want.  Sometimes, I'll do a quick swipe of the brows with a gluestick - I know, I know - it seems weird, but it's an awesome drag trick to keep your bushy babies in check, nice and smooth and flat and ready to be painted!
 
  Painting my brows is also definitely my favorite use for the Makeup Forever flash palette we talked about back in Halloween.  It pretty much requires a powder top coat though, and luckily I have pretty much every color of eyeshadow one could imagine, but in case I don't have an exact match, I alwayyyssssss use Swagger finishing powder, which I also gave a lengthy blowjob to in the Halloween post.  Full disclosure, I am friends with the gorgeous creature behind Swagger Cosmetics, but I pay for the products I use, and I wouldn't lie to you - I am goddamn obsessed with this stuff.  I bought some for my little sister for Christmas, and now she's obsessed with it, too!  It keeps my face looking matte and feeling softer than a baby's ass, I tell ye.

  Actually, while we're at it, here's a pic of a recent purchase from Swagger, with a close-up of the finishing powder.  Look how cute!

  Everything came wrapped like little candies with a note and a few shadow samples, too!  Oh yeah, I suppose I'll mention that pink blush that I also bought.  The photo on the website makes it look quite a bite more orangey than it is in reality - my photo is truer to life, it's very bubble-gummy, but rubs in slightly darker and richer than it looks in the jar.  I'm obsessed with it right now, I've been wearing it preeetty much daily.

  Okay, okay, on to the eyebrows.  This whole obsession started with a costume I wore to a cheeky underground queer dance part that had a "virgin sacrifice" theme.  I was experimenting with white eye makeup and my virginal costume slowly morphed into what I dubbed alien baby.  Seemed like a logical conclusion, right?  And it was one of those parties where the aim of the game is outdo all my friends with my craaazay costume!! 

   Cool!  Freaky!  This ended up being probably one of the most well received looks I've done in a while, I'll admit I was quite pleased.  I also made a cyberish orange vinyl peter pan collar last minute - nice and easy because it requires almost no sewing!  Yay, vinyl!  

  Anyhoo, as all good things begin, I was sitting alone, probably watching TV-on-the-Internet, and decided it was a good occasion to fuck with makeup.  I like to have some time to play with an idea before I wear it out, especially if it's a club look.   Lord knows it'll ruin my entire timeline if I fuck up and have to wash my whole face off and start again!  People just don't know!  Oh, the prep work, hunty! 


  Here I am doing a little neon-face action.  It's clear from our experiments that pink eyebrows are awesome, and yellow eyebrows are not-so-awesome.  (Oh, all of this eyebrow gunk is MUFE flash palette, fyi.)  I'm also wearing the pink Swagger blush - and quite a lot of it, here.  These are unfiltered webcam photos, and the colors are accurate for once! 






  So with a clear verdict, I wore the pink out to da club.  Since it's such a bright color, I did cold black and white makeup everywhere else.  Statement brows, people.  I also did a little heavy-drag eyeliner experiment.

On the left, before da club.  On the right, after.  I did do much dancing, but it held up nicely!

  Now, pink brows are obviously the most awesome and my personal favorite as well (coincidence!) but it's a little too clubby for the office, I believe.  I like to mess around at the office with freaky makeup while still biz'casualin it up in the outfit department.  I love to test the boundaries of the dress code, ask my mother and she'll confirm it's been a lifelong hobby of mine.  If I'm gonna go clown-brow at the office, I prefer a dark shade in keeping with my natural color palette, so that means purple or royal blue!




 The blue does not photograph well, and it looks really weird in this pic, like just the front bit is blue!  Ugh, it's much better in real life, but subtle enough that it's pretty easy to wear on the daily.

  Then I decided to go whole purple-face with the brows, because I couldn't resist using this gorgeoussss new lippy called The Purple Cloud by Portland Black Lipstick Co., who make totally awesome and unconventional lip colors.  I found out about them via a Beautylish article.  I picked out four shades, and some of the shades I bought are a little dry because they're so pigment heavy, but I'd prefer a drier shade that stays put than something that's going to make a big, weird-colored mess on my face and come off on every face I kiss.  I touch of Burt's Bees before application and it's perfecto.  Also, none of the pigments get all chunky like with some brands I've tried recently.  (We'll talk about that later!!!)  I don't want to parse it all out right now because lippy reviews don't belong in eyebrow posts.  Suffice it to say this brand has a lot of colors you will never find elsewhere, and I recommend them!! 
  Ok now, this purple...this purple is awesome.  It's super rich and creamy and smells oh-so-slightly of mint - just lovely!!  It feels good and stays put all day, I didn't have any feathering at all! Now, I feel I must qualify my gushy review of this brand.  If you know me at all, you already know this; but if you don't, then listen to me now!  If there's one thing I love, it's weird shades of lipstick.  Obsessed.  A nice, all-day-wearable freaky lippy is haaard to find!  People don't knowww! So when I find a great one, I need to talk about it.  Love dis shit!


  I think with that, I will conclude this photo-orgy of a post.  Tune in next time
(I can't make any promises of when that will be) and I'll talk more about lipstick your grandmother wouldn't like and whether it's worth your dime.
 

MOAR HALLOWEEN!!!

  Halloween is seriously my fave holiday, I never want it to end.  In fact, I'm going to another costume party today, this time with my awesome family!  Also, why didn't I post this picture with my last post?!  It's awesome, if I do say so myself!

  You always get to do the best makeup on Halloween, and this year I made sure to get deep in that MUFE flash palette, since I paid for the damn thing, I might as well get the most out of it!

  My beautiful friend Britt let me beat her face for a 'harlequin clown' look, and I gotta say I'm pretty proud of how it turned out!  I have a lot of experience painting my own face, but I tend to get the shakey hand when trying to do anyone else's!

 

  The whole face is MUFE flash palette, set with all-important Swagger finishing powder.  As I live and breathe! TELL ME that is not the cutest clown you have ever seen!

  Oh my gosh, how cute is this outfit, too??  Crinolines for life, babies!  I have a gigantic steamer trunk full of pantyhose and tutus, I LIVE for that shit!

Happy Halloween!

  Ahh yes, boys and ghouls, it's the most wonderful time of the year again!  I'm talking about Halloween...what did you think I meant?!  I can't get enough of kitschy decor, fake blood, and fun-sized candy bars!!

Such a shame I didn't get a proper shot of my lovely neck scar, which you can barely see here!

  OK first let me just talk about my costume makeup for just a second here.  I was really pleased with how this look turned out!  I wanted a green face without having to cover myself in greasy makeup, but I didn't want to end up with a bloodless zombie face, so powder was out!
  I have this epic palette of high-end grease paints from Make Up For Ever that I am absolutely obsessed with!  The green on my face is straight from the palette with no added tints.  The colors are rich and beautiful and I absolutely adore it, but caveat emptor: these paints are greasy as fuck.  Now, I'm an oily-faced lass to begin with, but these are pretty insanely slippery when you first put them on!  This means a few things, both good and bad.  Happily, this makes it insanely easy to apply and also to fix any mistakes once you've got it on your face.  Unfortunately, it also means you need to give it proper time to cook, girl.  Gotta let that shit just SIT THERE for a good hour before I feel confident.   
  Additionally, it pretty much requires a finishing powder, so you're stuck with a velvet finish whether you want it or not.  I use Swagger finishing powder, which I ALSO freaking love.  Now, I love MUFE, but their finishing powder is half the size and twice the price, and it is made of exactly the same thing!!  WHAT in the WHAT, girl!   Don't be dumb, comparison shop.  And support small business!  The whole Swagger line is handmade by the divine Blake Karamazov in San Francisco!  We will be revisiting her again soon, to be sure...
  The lips are Jamaica by Ka'Oir, which is pretty great, too.  It's pretty creamy, and suuuper pigmented, so you don't have to put a heaping ton on to turn normal-girl-colored lips green!  I'm not crazy about the way it smells, but it's a small quibble.  I mean, it's not like it stinks.  It's fairly long-lasting and comfortable to wear, so I would recommend it.  The brand has all the freaky colors you have been wanting but unable to find.
  The eyeliner is a cream liner by MUFE, which I used on my stitches as well.  This shit is the BOOOOOMB!!!  I will never use liquid liner again, I swear to you.  This stuff is the total opposite of the paint palette - it's super waxy and dries quickly!  It stays richly black and flexible all day, too - no crusty, flaky business.  PLUS it doesn't require a powder to stay in place. Hurrah! Well worth the price.  I love it so much I would marry it. 
  My skin has nothing but mineral powder and the soft, forgiving sheen of my webcam's meager flash.

 

Completing the look with a Bride of Frankenstein bouffant and some gangrenous sutures!

  Now I've been dying to try a little spooky dripping blood look on my nails, but red just wasn't gonna match my Frankenstein ensemble, so I went with neon orange and green spooky slime!  I love neons, but they are almost always a slightly translucent gel, which is not great for coverage over dark colors, and naturally I needed a black backdrop for my Nickelodeon-colored slime nails.  Solution?  Mix one drop of white polish to four or five drops of neon polish, and viola! You have opaque neons!  Sure, they end up being a slightly paler hue, but once you've got it on your hands, no one will be the wiser!

To paint the slime, I used a combination of a thin, stout nail brush, and a small dotting tool.  The dotting tool was great for applying even coverage and achieving the drips.  In fact, the dotting tool is the most useful for this look.  I highly recommend using something similar, but in a pinch, a nice toothpick or even a dry (and cleaned!) ball-point pen will do lovely!  Be sure to wipe the tip every couple of dots to keep your tool precise and your polish from getting gooey.

Pretty sure these pants are the backdrop to 50% of my photos...

Party Nails: Clarissa Explains it All...

  Usually I have a basic idea, or at least a color scheme, when I set out to paint a new manicure.  Other times, I have so many ideas floating around that I can't pick favorites, so I'll do what I call Party Nails!  They are great for experimenting with color combinations, designs, or techniques (or a mix of all three!) 

For this look, I decided to pit pastels against neons, and combine my two favorite awkward color trends of the season!  (Seriously, why are both so wrong and yet....feel so right?)  I also wanted to try a funky '80s triangle pattern, but wasn't sure I'd be able to execute it properly on all fingers, so I went with a multitude of patterns!  Once finished, I realized I'd totally been channeling Clarissa Darling!  I'd like to pop my ladder up to her window so I could see what she thought...

Clarissa Manicures It All

And here are the results!  I have a lot of great ideas kicking around in my head after doing this manicure!

Despite doing a pretty good job (if I do say so myself) on the left hand (leftie pride - holla at me!), I still don't know if I'm ready for full triangles.  I use nail art brushes (super cheap on Amazon) to hand-paint all my designs, and precision definitely requires practice.

Anyway, I'm totally obsessed with both the triangles and the little hearts, especially the neon orange on mint green!  The colors are fairly true to life here, but the orange is so much more neon than these photos would have you believe.  For some reason, my little digital camera just doesn't want to pick up that orange!

I also took a long time debating between white and lavender as the final base color.  I ended up going with white, but in retrospect I really wish I'd gone with the lavender.  I think it would have jibed with the other colors better.  Oh well, something to think about for next time!

(Yes, that is a little pill-o-the-week case in the background left on the bottom photo.  I got this cute flower-patterned one at Daiso Japan, and I use it to organize my fake eyelashes! It's just the thing!) 

I am obsessed with the thumbs of this manicure!!